Hunting for Lawyers: A Modest Proposal

Marcus P. Meleton, Jr. – Author   

More lawyers are roving within United States borders than then the combined population of lawyers from all other nations. Sadly, they are in the final stage of an overpopulation crisis. That stage is cannibalism and lawyer joke books don’t help a bit in such a crisis. In Meleton’s first environmental book, he proposes a tried and true method that has worked for ages.

The legal industry promotes the overpopulation as a marvelous benefit to the country. A pessimistic population of citizens believe the only benefit is a shift of their money into the legal profession pockets with no benefit and absolutely no justice. Sadley, in the search for their next customer, lawyers face a shrinking customer base with less funds left to access. The killer instinct in them has caused an explosion of lawyers specializing in Legal Malpractice. In the legal profession, that is their form of cannibalism.

As human beings, it is difficult to witness the suffering lawyers are exposed to when lawyers are dragged intothe punishing, inefficient, illogical court system they themselves designed. Thus, as utilized when wolves, bears, alligators, rats, and cockroaches overpopulate, the humane solution is to develop a proper, civilized, and legal hunting season. Rules and laws to humanely cull the population will be developed using deer hunting as the model since so many hunters are already experts. Please don’t misinterpret this as simple revenge upon a despised profession that sucks the life out of everything that is good and honest about this country. This is being done for their own good as well as for the nation as a whole. May they rest in peace.

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The breeding and feeding frenzy of lawyers has created an overpopulation crisis that threatens their very existence. 

Don't smile, their downfall will be painful if we, as environmentalists and animal lovers, don't act. Compassionately, we must develop a hunting season to reduce the herds to manageable levels.

Many, are most anxious to help. This "modest proposal" will guide us to the ultimate solution. Includes hunting regulations, how to become a big game lawyer hunter, Tracking-Trolling-Baiting techniques, Lawyer Gladiator Games, Trophy Mounting, and much more.

Paperback – June 15, 1995