{"title":"All Products","description":null,"products":[{"product_id":"nice-guys-dont-get-laid","title":"Nice Guys Don't Get Laid","description":"\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003ci\u003eNice Guys Don’t Get Laid\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e was created as satire to teach men how to become the disaster women crave. Marcus Meleton, the author, interviewed men who magnetically attracted women but had no discerning aspects that made it obvious why. He targeted men who were not particularly good looking, had no obvious employment future or hanging on in college with little hope of graduating, no money to speak of, certainly not famous outside of womanizing, and in some cases owned no form of transportation. On the opposite side, Marcus interviewed and observed women describe poor relationships they were caught in. The resulting humor was not only fun but has been so effective, \u003cb\u003e\u003ci\u003eNice Guys Don’t Get Laid\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e, is now in its 3\u003cspan class=\"s1\"\u003e\u003csup\u003erd \u003c\/sup\u003e\u003c\/span\u003eedition, and 4\u003cspan class=\"s1\"\u003e\u003csup\u003eth\u003c\/sup\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e printing as the dominant reference for men attempting to make sense of the opposite sex in an age when Luigi Mangione is considered Swoon-worthy. The most recent \u003cb\u003eNice Guys\u003c\/b\u003e edition was kicked up a notch due to feedback requesting information more applicable to the life of the average dateless nice guy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p2\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003eWe are in an age when men, especially young men are pushed to the side. Men are “toxic,” depicted as ignorant fathers in TV shows, our schools design classes with women in mind, and movies show small women do beat downs on large men. If you point this out you are “man-splaining”, misogynist, anti-woman, and behind the times. If you are a traditional “gentleman”, your show of respect is perceived as seeing women as inferior. Yet even in this time the Bad Boy is timeless and still rules.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p2\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003eAlthough\u003cb\u003e\u003ci\u003e Nice Guys\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e is designed for men who fail to attract women, women frustrated with the men they attach themselves to who read the book dropped the boyfriend permanently. He was no longer a mystery to unveil; he was merely a standard jerk diagramed in the book. Written satirically, \u003cb\u003e\u003ci\u003eNice Guys\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e breaks down practices utilized by Toxic Men and self-centered Jerks worldwide. A groom bought a set for the single groomsmen in his wedding who were perpetually used as door mats by women. Women bought the book for friends stuck with disasterous dead-end-men who won’t listen to her friends. How many women have we seen move in with a man who “doesn’t believe in marriage”. Years go by, she gets close to 40, he moves out, marries a younger woman in less than 6 months with baby on the way.\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e  \u003c\/span\u003eChristmas is coming and birthdays go by with this book perfect as a gift for someone you know.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p2\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003ci\u003eNice Guys Don’t Get Laid\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e Includes the Bad Boy Ten Commandments and translation guides to decipher quotes from what women says, to what they actually mean. The philosophy is based on supply and demand. Males must supply what women demand. Don’t be what women \u003cspan class=\"s2\"\u003esay\u003c\/span\u003e they want, you must model yourself after men that women choose. Satire works, only if there is truth behind it. That explains why a college level sociology course made \u003cb\u003e\u003ci\u003eNice Guys Don’t Get Laid\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e, required reading. It explains why the author was requested to present at the National Mensa convention. As intelligent as Mensa men are, determining what women desire can be an insurmountable problem to resolve, especially if logic is used to attempt a resolution.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p2\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003ci\u003eNice Guys Don’t Get Laid\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e explains the attraction of every famous man known to have major flaws, yet attracted women. That goes for today and for ages before; Marlon Brando, Bill Clinton, Jeffrey Epstein, Leo Decaprio, P Diddy, Ellen DeGeneres, Luigi Mangione, and the Menendez Brothers. Most would assume no woman would get anywhere near because their reputation proceeds them. Why bring this up? Because then it is not so hard to believe that women will flock to a jobless, drug addicted loser, with a trail of broken women but is the life of the party. He has women waiting to be next while the vast majority of single men around him have to fight for their life to get one to show interest. You will be shocked to learn \u003cb\u003eThe Guaranteed Way to Get Love Letters from Women You Don’t Know\u003c\/b\u003e. Find out why \u003ci\u003eConfidence without merit\u003c\/i\u003e is THE secret skill mastered by inferior bad boys.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003eMarcus Meleton has been a guest on close to 2,000 thousand radio interviews internationally (USA, Canada, Japan, Mexico, Australia, New Zealand, England, and South Africa). He has appeared nationally on television; Geraldo, Montel, Leeza Gibbons and others as well as local television nationwide. Print media went from coast to coast from the \u003cb\u003e\u003ci\u003eLos Angeles Times\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e to the \u003cb\u003e\u003ci\u003eNew York Times\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e and dozens of others in between. The author himself says he was affected by the research and publishing of \u003cb\u003eNice Guys\u003c\/b\u003e, saying “My life would be vastly different if not for this book. It was like I unintentionally practiced what I humorously was preaching. From concept to today, I transitioned from Nice Guy or Eunuch, as I prefer to term it, to Bad Boy. Ultimately ending that stage when I stole a woman from her boyfriend that ended in me getting bagged, tagged, married, now with four children. I could not be happier given that was what I had wanted before getting jaded by the mating ritual I was such a failure at. \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Marcus Melton","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42376707440728,"sku":"","price":17.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0623\/0923\/6824\/files\/51IU7awwrGL._SY466.jpg?v=1730754872"},{"product_id":"pete-the-p-o-d-postal-worker-paperback","title":"Pete the P.O.'d Postal Worker (Paperback)","description":"\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eBreak out your Kevlar!\u003c\/b\u003e Pete the P.O.'d Postal Worker is gonna give you both barrels of full metal jacket, full auto, no prisoners taken, in his first \u003cb\u003eTrade Paperback\u003c\/b\u003e of Pete adventures.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003eAll Pete lives for is to \u003cb\u003edeliver mail\u003c\/b\u003e, but his boss fears him, hates him, and sends him to neighborhoods that will kill him.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eThese are the first five issues of Pete that drew \u003cb\u003eraves\u003c\/b\u003e from \u003ci\u003ePreviews\u003c\/i\u003e, \u003ci\u003eComic Retailer\u003c\/i\u003e, \u003ci\u003eWizard\u003c\/i\u003e, \u003ci\u003eComic Buyers Guide\u003c\/i\u003e, and \u003cb\u003epostal workers nationwide\u003c\/b\u003e. You get a full 142 pages of art that will make you respect your local postal worker—if not fear them. \"Going Postal\" is what Pete does on a good day.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003eThe explosive first issue finds Pete relegated to mail sorting to keep him away from the public. A postal worker gets shot when a gang robs him the day Social Security Checks are delivered. \u003cb\u003eNO ONE\u003c\/b\u003e wants to take over the route, yet \"the Mail-Must-Go-Through\" (based on an actual occurrence in Washington, D.C.). Pete is the only one who will take it, and he hits the streets after years of sorting mail. What happens next is all the mail gets delivered, but the gang, a pit bull, and miscellaneous other incidents result in Pete's incarceration in a maximum security prison.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003eIn \u003cb\u003eIssue 2\u003c\/b\u003e, his incarceration is short-lived, as are the lives of his fellow inmates. He scares the inmates so much that he gets back on the streets for unforgettable deliveries to a militia group, terrorists, and carnivorous invading aliens escaping from Roswell, New Mexico. They are also obstructing mail service, which makes Pete \u003cb\u003every, VERY ANGRY\u003c\/b\u003e. It takes both \u003cb\u003eIssue 3 \u0026amp; 4\u003c\/b\u003e to finish them all off.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eIssue 5\u003c\/b\u003e finishes with a well-deserved vacation in England, complete with girlfriend, heartbreak, knighthood, and an international incident. Says \u003ci\u003ePreviews Small Press Snapshot\u003c\/i\u003e, \"Imagine Quentin Tarantino directing \u003ci\u003eIl Postino\u003c\/i\u003e.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\"Going Postal\" is what Pete does on a \u003cb\u003eGood Day\u003c\/b\u003e; on a bad day... \u003cb\u003eYou don't want to know.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003eGreat gift to give that \u003cb\u003eUnited States Post Office (USPS)\u003c\/b\u003e postal worker to take the edge off his day.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Marcus Melton","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42376714813528,"sku":"","price":12.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0623\/0923\/6824\/files\/518D9AYYZTL._SY466.jpg?v=1730755096"},{"product_id":"pete-the-p-o-d-postal-worker-a-childrens-book-for-sick-and-twisted-adults","title":"Pete the P.O.'d Postal Worker: A Children's Book for Sick and Twisted Adults","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"UTF-8\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHe's heavily armed, skinny legged and dangerous. He's Pete the PO'd Postal Worker. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThrough rain, sleet and dark of mood, he perseveres. With teeth clenched and eyes darting, he confronts his exacting coffee-break-filled work day, his oppressive four weeks of paid vacation, the onerous guarantee of a generous government pension. Is it any wonder that rage builds inside him until tick, tick, tick like a mail bomb he frequently, publicly, often violently explodes! \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eA letter from your Uncle Lou in one hand and a magnum from Wal-Mart in the other, Pete delivers with extreme prejudice. And in this, his very special children's book for adults, Pete delivers macabre laughs for the sick and twisted kid in all of us. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eGreat Christmas or Birthday present for your favorite Postal Worker because at the United States Post Office, you want a smile on their lips.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eGoing Postal is what Pete does on a good day, on a bad day ... Introduced at San Diego Comic Con 2008 Also shown at ComicPalooza 2016 Austin Wizard Show, Las Vegas, Washington DC.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Marcus Melton","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42376715632728,"sku":"","price":12.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0623\/0923\/6824\/files\/61ejJyWMEgL._SY466.jpg?v=1730755228"},{"product_id":"liberal-man-final-mission-adventures-of-liberal-man","title":"Liberal Man : Final Mission (Adventures of Liberal Man)","description":"\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003eNO ONE IS MORE POLITICALLY CORRECT.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eNO ONE HAS THE POWER OF HIS COMPASSION.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eNO ONE’S HEART BLEEDS MORE PROFUSELY.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p2\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p3\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eLiberal Man\u003c\/b\u003e a Marvel-Sized representation of a Liberal Superhero. He’s the Dudley-Do-Left of heroes, always at the ready, wearing a bleeding heart on his LEFT sleeve to show his superhero level of compassion. But he is not alone, there are important sidekicks.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p3\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eMedia Man\u003c\/b\u003e – The man that takes Liberal Policy disasters and turns them into magnificent victories with the stroke of a pen. Not in reality but, as the Liberal knows, reality is relative.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p3\"\u003e\u003cb\u003e60’s Man\u003c\/b\u003e – Locked in of pot warehouse for decades, 60’s Man is infused with THC, like a laid-back grenade. If you want to immobilize your enemy, light him up and toss him into the midst of the enemy. Watch the slow motion explosion suck the initiative out of everyone around him.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p3\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eEqual Kick\u003c\/b\u003e – Why Equal Kick and not “Side Kick”? Side Kick is a demeaning, White-centric, term that is unacceptable. Her purpose is to offset Liberal Man’s obvious deficiencies. He’s white and a male. So he starts out symbolizing what is wrong with the world. Equal Kick is the ultimate DEI dream child. She was a homeless, Black, Female, former Crack baby, with no resume to avoid false colonial standards that failed civilization. She is a walking symbol, not to be questioned, only to be praised and worshiped. There are issues that has caused some disappointment such as a hesitancy to open up sexual doors, leaving her limited to displaying standard Cis gender behavior\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p3\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Other\u003c\/b\u003e \u003cb\u003eThing \u003c\/b\u003e( Gender Fluid Superhero Thing) – There is \u003cb\u003eThe Thing\u003c\/b\u003e and then there is \u003cb\u003eThe Other Thing\u003c\/b\u003e. \u003cb\u003eThe Other Thing\u003c\/b\u003e is the ultimate spy and assault weapon. The superpower is - one day its a HE, the next a SHE, then It is a Whatever but don’t get the pronoun wrong or The Other Thing changes you into a bigot, never to be forgiven. The OthereThing can infiltrate any organization. Just give the meeting, the gender, the race, the sexual orientation and The Other Thing is automatically a member because he qualifies and identifies since birth.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p3\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Judge \u003c\/b\u003e– Appears to be Thor but the Judge’s wood hammer– He’s a graduate of Harvard Law, to remove any semblance of justice, fairness or constitutionality. The power of the hammer is simple. When the Judge slams the\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e  \u003c\/span\u003ehammer down what he\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e  \u003c\/span\u003esays becomes law. No questions and no stinking legislature needed. You think there is freedom of expression, well, it depends if the Judge likes what you said. “Freedom of the press,” is okay only if left oriented because that’s only fair.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e--\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"UTF-8\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSTEP ASIDE SUPERHEROS! - No one is more politically correct! No one has the power of his compassion. No one's heart bleeds more profusely. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIt's Liberal Man. Faster than the average white, European male. More powerful than a tax-package locomotive in a Democrat controlled Congress. Able to leap tall buildings when requested by whiny special interest groups. His motto -- \"I fight truth and justice everywhere for the Democrat way.\" \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eLIBERAL MAN is the ultimate spoof on liberalism. Clinton Cash: A Graphic Novel is great! But to get the EARLY history of Hillary Clinton, in a ground breaking political Graphic Novel, this is the book for you. Hillary Clinton is featured and you see the beginnings of why the book, Clinton Cash, is resulting today from allowing the Clintons continued access to power. Crooked Hillary was crooked then because it was in the DNA. The book contains \"best of\" stories from the nationally acclaimed 10-episode comic series with a brand new mission in which Liberal Man is launched towards his death to save the President's legacy. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIncludes 8 full color pin-up pages. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eGround breaking in its analysis of Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton, Political Correctness, War on Women, and Mainstream Media MSM. Written at the end of the Clinton Administration, this not only predicts the rise of Hillary Clinton for president but reminds you of what to expect with a Hillary Presidency. Includes caricatures of James Carville, Jesse Jackson, Dan Rather, and many others. Primary Characters. LIBERAL MAN -- A super hero who's main kryptonite weakness is the fact that he was born Male, Heterosexual, and White. Everything he hates most, except that he is not Christian, which is a plus. He believes in every religion EXCEPT Christianity, which is an abomination because its influence is what made this nation and our constitution the scourge of the new world order. This Dudly-do-Left character wears his bleeding heart, literally, on his left sleeve. When he fails, and he does so often it is the blame of Right Wing Extremists, even if they were not around. When he succeeds the results are disastrous but that is because, like communism, no one has done it quite right. MEDIA MAN: Media Man carries the weight for the Liberal Avengers. When Liberal Man has a disastrous failure, Media Man will make it look like a total victory in the press. SIDE KICK: There is no Side Kick! That is demeaning. It is EQUAL Kick. And don't forget it or you will lose your bakery. 60's MAN: The comic relief for a most important business and a favorite of most readers. 60's Man was locked in a vault of pot for 30 years. He smoked Marijuana, ate Marijuana brownies, slept on a bed of spent joints until he was discovered by Liberal Man. If only he had the attention span to attempt a breakout, he could have been out after the first 5 minutes of incarceration. What is his Super Power? He exudes THC from every pore and he sucks the initiative out of everyone around him. Toss him in the congressional chambers and nothing gets done. That explains a lot.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Marcus Melton","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42378339221592,"sku":"","price":14.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0623\/0923\/6824\/files\/51YT9XXDEEL.jpg?v=1730814809"},{"product_id":"hunting-for-lawyers-a-modest-proposal","title":"Hunting for Lawyers: A Modest Proposal","description":"\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003eMarcus P. Meleton, Jr. – Author\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e   \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p2\"\u003eMore lawyers are roving within United States borders than then the combined population of lawyers from all other nations. Sadly, they are in the final stage of an overpopulation crisis. That stage is cannibalism and lawyer joke books don’t help a bit in such a crisis. In Meleton’s first environmental book, he proposes a tried and true method that has worked for ages.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p3\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p2\"\u003eThe legal industry promotes the overpopulation as a marvelous benefit to the country. A pessimistic population of citizens believe the only benefit is a shift of their money into the legal profession pockets with no benefit and absolutely no justice. Sadley, in the search for their next customer, lawyers face a shrinking customer base with less funds left to access. The killer instinct in them has caused an explosion of lawyers specializing in Legal Malpractice. In the legal profession, that is their form of cannibalism.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p3\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p2\"\u003eAs human beings, it is difficult to witness the suffering lawyers are exposed to when lawyers are dragged intothe punishing, inefficient, illogical court system they themselves designed. Thus, as utilized when wolves, bears, alligators, rats, and cockroaches overpopulate, the humane solution is to develop a proper, civilized, and \u003cspan class=\"s1\"\u003elegal\u003c\/span\u003e hunting season. Rules and laws to humanely cull the population will be developed using deer hunting as the model since so many hunters are already experts. Please don’t misinterpret this as simple revenge upon a despised profession that sucks the life out of everything that is good and honest about this country. This is being done for their own good as well as for the nation as a whole. May they rest in peace.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e--\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"UTF-8\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe breeding and feeding frenzy of lawyers has created an overpopulation crisis that threatens their very existence. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eDon't smile, their downfall will be painful if we, as environmentalists and animal lovers, don't act. Compassionately, we must develop a hunting season to reduce the herds to manageable levels. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMany, are most anxious to help. This \"modest proposal\" will guide us to the ultimate solution. Includes hunting regulations, how to become a big game lawyer hunter, Tracking-Trolling-Baiting techniques, Lawyer Gladiator Games, Trophy Mounting, and much more.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch5 class=\"a-spacing-none a-text-normal\"\u003e\u003cspan data-cel-widget=\"productSubtitle\" data-csa-c-id=\"ehqalm-2ssn1i-t8o2s5-f9pkky\" class=\"a-size-medium a-color-secondary celwidget\" id=\"productSubtitle\"\u003ePaperback – June 15, 1995\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h5\u003e","brand":"Marcus Melton","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42378339745880,"sku":"","price":9.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0623\/0923\/6824\/files\/5103X227CTL-2.jpg?v=1730815031"},{"product_id":"nice-guys-t-shirts","title":"Nice Guys T-Shirts","description":"","brand":"Marcus Meleton","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":42378486775896,"sku":"","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 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Meleton, Jr. – Writer\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003ePete Garcia -- Artist\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p2\"\u003ePete, the ultimate postal professional, has been banished to mail sorting to separate him from customer contact. A postal worker, in a gang infested neighborhood, has been shot. Social Security checks have been stolen. No one will accept the route, except Pete. With no other choice, Pete is released to make the delivery. Every letter gets to its desired recipient but not every recipient survives Pete’s delivery.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Marcus Meleton","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":43745743339608,"sku":null,"price":2.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0623\/0923\/6824\/files\/15.jpg?v=1770758474"},{"product_id":"pete-the-p-o-d-postal-worker-issue-2","title":"Pete the P.O.'d Postal Worker Issue #2 Chained Sealed and Delivered","description":"\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003ePete’s enthusiasm when he returned to mail delivery duty, landed him in maximum security. Not all is lost, he begs to do prison mail delivery to his hyper-violent constituency. What could go wrong? A lot! But bigger issues outside the walls are calling that will give Pete his chance to get back to delivering mail as a free man.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Marcus Meleton","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":43745743568984,"sku":null,"price":0.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0623\/0923\/6824\/files\/1.jpg?v=1770758531"},{"product_id":"pete-the-p-o-d-postal-worker-issue-3","title":"Pete the P.O.'d Postal Worker Issue #3 To Conad the Alien","description":"\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003eThe U.S. Parcel Service sends Pete to Roswell New Mexico to deliver what is considered a crank letter written to “Conad the Alien”. It is just another attempt by Pete’s boss to end Pete’s career. He tells Pete, “Deliver this into the hand of Conad or don’t return.” Delivering mail is Pete’s reason for living. Pete being the ultimate postman, finds the alien, but these aliens see Earth as an intergalactic fast-food window. What happens when you cross a voracious alien appetite with Pete’s desperate need for 100% delivery. When an alien invasion threatens mail delivery, you have a very upset postman.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Marcus Meleton","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":43745743994968,"sku":null,"price":2.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0623\/0923\/6824\/files\/3.jpg?v=1770758567"},{"product_id":"pete-the-p-o-d-postal-worker-issue-4","title":"Pete the P.O.'d Postal Worker Issue #4 Independence Day","description":"\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003eWhat is thought to be crank letter to “Conad the Alien” is given to Pete with the order, “Deliver it or don’t come back.” Pete always delivers, ALWAYS, ‘till death do us part.’ Sure enough Pete finds the alien. The alien not only refuses to take delivery but has captured Pete and will consume him. He is the scout to a massive invasion force arriving shortly for a fast-food stop. Their method of consuming food is like earth’s spiders. They suck the contents of their capture, leaving an empty shell. The alien invasion will disrupt all mail service. To make matters worse, Conad belittles and laughs at the archaic form of communication. It took two issues to finish all the killing that results.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Marcus Meleton","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":43745744617560,"sku":null,"price":2.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0623\/0923\/6824\/files\/4.jpg?v=1770758629"},{"product_id":"pete-the-p-o-d-postal-worker-issue-5","title":"Pete the P.O.'d Postal Worker Issue #5 To England with Love","description":"\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003eIn 30 years, Pete has avoided taking vacation. Pete is far too dedicated to abandon customers. It’s Pete’s boss who desperately needs a vacation from cleaning up the results of Pete’s unique delivery style. Pete has banked 240 days over the maximum days allowed. To insure Pete does not spend his days lurking in the office, his boss requests he return an undeliverable letter from England\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e     \u003c\/span\u003eOff to England Pete goes. He drops off the letter, tours the English postal system, falls in love, foils a terrorist plot, and through no fault of his own, creates an international incident.\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e  \u003c\/span\u003eThere was a failure to anticipate Pete’s reaction to having a sword swoop down on his shoulder when the Queen attempts to Knight him.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Marcus Meleton","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":43745744879704,"sku":null,"price":2.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0623\/0923\/6824\/files\/5.jpg?v=1770758654"},{"product_id":"pete-the-p-o-d-postal-worker-issue-6","title":"Pete the P.O.'d Postal Worker Issue #6 Benedict Postman Part I","description":"\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003eA cancer has struck Pete’s home office. Postal worker Benedict is trafficking drugs though the USPS system. 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Worse still, his little friend Brittany and her dog Pookie are Teddy’s ultimate goal. As one can imagine, Pete’s dreams are already too intense. Is this Pete’s final nightmare or is Pete, Teddy’s nightmare. All this happens after the conclusion of Benedict Postman, that results in a statewide ammo depletion.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Marcus Meleton","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":43745746124888,"sku":null,"price":2.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0623\/0923\/6824\/files\/7.jpg?v=1770758743"},{"product_id":"pete-the-p-o-d-postal-worker-issue-8","title":"Pete the P.O.'d Postal Worker Issue #8 Postman on Elm Steet (Part II)","description":"\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003eIt is the dream date of the century. Introduced in issue 7, Teddy Cougar is killing Pete’s constituency. Oddly enough, Pete’s frenzied eye twitch allows him to see Teddy Cougar as Teddy scouts his victims. Cougar is killing the addressees on Pete’s route until Pete stops him. So, Cougar decides to visit Pete’s dreams. Then he can go on killing, including finishing Brittany and her dog, Pookie.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Marcus Meleton","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":43745746583640,"sku":null,"price":2.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0623\/0923\/6824\/files\/8.jpg?v=1770758774"},{"product_id":"pete-the-p-o-d-postal-worker-issue-9","title":"Pete the P.O.'d Postal Worker Issue #9 Jerry Ringer’s Special Guest on ‘Going Postal.’","description":"\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003eGoing Postal on the next Jerry Ringer show. Jerry promises to deliver the typical postal worker when they go Postal. The Ringer Show saw the news piece on Pete encountering armored bank robbers. The robbers got in the way his mail route and received a postal workers reception. Pete, unfamiliar with the extreme fighting talk show format accepts the invitation to “promote the friendly and efficient postal service,” not knowing an on-stage confrontation was planned. Sounds like a good idea if you like stepping on a landmine and Jerry has done it.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Marcus Meleton","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":43745747239000,"sku":null,"price":2.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0623\/0923\/6824\/files\/9.jpg?v=1770758820"},{"product_id":"pete-the-p-o-d-postal-worker-issue-10","title":"Pete the P.O.'d Postal Worker Issue #10 Y2K","description":"\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003eFind a cave. Light a candle. You are stepping back to year 2000. Ye Gods, Y2K has stopped mail delivery. But will our favorite postman allow it to continue. Now you shall know why Y2K was such a dud. 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Benedict doesn’t see that as lucky. Benedict replaced his hand with a weapon’s arsenal. He wants blood.\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e  \u003c\/span\u003ePete’s blood. Plus he wants to take down the whole USPS crew.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p3\"\u003eSo UPS boys cross the line into USPS territory, capping home boys and ‘dissin’ their service. Benedict thinks he has nothing to lose. Except everything.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p3\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003eMarcus P. Meleton, Jr. – Writer\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ePete Garcia – Artis\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Marcus Meleton","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":43745749008472,"sku":null,"price":2.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0623\/0923\/6824\/files\/11.jpg?v=1770758938"},{"product_id":"pete-the-p-o-d-postal-worker-petes-very-special-christmas","title":"Pete the P.O.'d Postal Worker: Pete's Very Special Christmas","description":"\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003eSo you think those letters to Santa get destroyed, do you?\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e  \u003c\/span\u003eThe U. 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If it bleeds it leads.\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e  \u003c\/span\u003ePete shouldn’t read newspapers. They are written to put people on the edge. Pete left the edge a long time ago and he reads the paper before he goes to bed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003eIt is bedtime for Bonzo and you are going to be there. Bring your favorite Kevlar blanky and a stuffed toy to soak up any accident you might have because there are some dreams you should stay out of. You are entering the Pete Zone.\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e  \u003c\/span\u003eWith newspapers, If it bleeds, it leads. With Pete - If it bleeds, it can’t stop you from delivering the mail.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003eMarcus P. Meleton, Jr. – Writer\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003ePete Garcia – Artists\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Marcus Meleton","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":43746349285464,"sku":null,"price":2.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0623\/0923\/6824\/files\/14_304fdf88-d608-4c0d-bfe4-34e5c8d52672.jpg?v=1770784801"},{"product_id":"pete-the-p-o-d-postal-worker-issue-afghanistan","title":"Pete the P.O.'d Postal Worker Issue : Afghanistan","description":"\u003cp class=\"p4\"\u003eAl Qaeda! Taliban! Osama!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p4\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e     \u003c\/span\u003eCrawl deep within your caves. You murdered thousands. Now you’ve killed postal workers by mailing hazardous materials. Kneel and pray that US Special Forces find you first, because Pete the P.O’d Postal Worker has your Anthrax letters, and you did not post full postage.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p4\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e     \u003c\/span\u003ePete doesn’t hide in caves. He doesn’t take hostages. He doesn’t \u003cb\u003epractice\u003c\/b\u003e terrorism. Pete IS terror. And he has your Anthrax letters to return.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p2\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eSpecial Issue 2 – WAR JOURNAL: RETURN TO SENDER\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p3\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eMarcus P. Meleton, Jr. – Writer\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p3\"\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-tab-span\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ePete Garcia – Artist\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Marcus Meleton","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":43746354888792,"sku":null,"price":2.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0623\/0923\/6824\/files\/13.jpg?v=1770784847"}],"url":"https:\/\/sharkbaitpress.com\/collections\/all-products.oembed","provider":"Marcus Meleton","version":"1.0","type":"link"}